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every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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