I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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