Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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