His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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