just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
pray to the hookup gods
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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