the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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