I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize