The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize