I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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