Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize