Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize