She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
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You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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