when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
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Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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