i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize