i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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