im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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