You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
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They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
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What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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