You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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