She is in my trunk
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
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THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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