yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
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We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
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My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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