I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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