theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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