This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize