if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize