She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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