I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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