party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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