So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
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the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
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That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize