We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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