i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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