So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Im part way to drunk.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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