He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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