I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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