It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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