Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize