the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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