I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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