just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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