so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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