If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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