She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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