do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sober January is a disaster.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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