we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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