Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
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It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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