Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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