he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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