i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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