I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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