I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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