Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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